I'M ALIVE!

   I feel as though it's been a while! I am finally at my permanent site and getting to know the place where I will spend the next two years of my life.  Everything happened so quickly so I will attempt to replay my life of the last two weeks.  
  About 14 days ago I moved back to Takeo Town for the swearing-in ceremony that made me an official Peace Corps Volunteer (before then I was officially a Peace Corps Trainee).  I received my site placement - more on that in the next paragraph - and then traveled up to Phnom Penh for one last night of celebration before leaving my fellow K6s and traveling to permanent site.  
  Ah the blessed day when I finally got word of where I am going to be.  It was much anticipated and we had a little party for it with lots of clapping and yelling.  My site is in the province of Kampong Som in southwest Cambodia.  I live in a very small village outside of the provincial town - so small that as I keep telling K6, I have yet to find English, internet, or Buddha.  I say this because I haven't met anyone who speaks English yet beyond a few simple words, there is no internet in my village, and it is largely Muslim unlike most of Cambodia.  I am able to post this because I've made a trip into my provincial town in order to run some errands and meet other PCVs in my province.  
  My first day at site, after meeting my family, I fell asleep. Because what does someone who has just moved to the middle of nowhere Cambodia with a family she doesn't know or easily communicate with do? I couldn't tell you, I missed it because I was sleeping.
  I did go to work the next day though.  Lucky for me I live super close to the health center where I will be working and my health center director must have been expecting me.  He took me into the provincial town to meet others in the health department and helped me purchase a fan (thank goodness) which my host mother asked him to do for me.  The upside of Cambodian markets is that you pay for everything in cash and everything is cheap relative to the US...the downside of Cambodian markets is that you get what you pay for.  Remember how I keep saying that Cambodia is sick hot?   A working fan would have been worth the trip. I discovered soon after plugging in my fan that it did not work and another trip to the provincial town was in order. What I am wondering now is how many fans I have to go through until I get one that gives me some air flow.  Ah Cambodian heat, what a cruel teacher you are. 
    I'm still learning Khmer and doing my best, though I find that when I try to speak it generally leads to a lot of laughter and even more confusion, if that's possible.  On Wednesday, my Health Center Director told me to come back to the center at 4pm, for what I thought would be a village visit...I ended up at a wedding...or a funeral (more on that later), I'm still not sure which one it was.  All I can do is laugh and try to keep learning.

  Sometimes I revel in the simplicity of life here, other times I ache for home - not for creature comforts so much as the luxury of little things like having my parents near.  Even in the middle of nowhere I have no doubt that my mother could procure a working fan better than I.  While I can play soccer with my boan brohs here, I find myself hit in the most random of moments with flashes of daydreams of having a beer with my brother or wandering Chicago with my sister.  How much life was more complex in the States and yet how much easier, when friends and family are but a text away, a few hours drive at the most. 
  I go days without hearing English besides the words I speak to myself.  I could go weeks if I stayed in my village, but necessity and the need to keep my sanity will drive me to my provincial town I think.  It's been about 2 months and already I can feel my English waning as Khmer takes over my brain.  Not only that but Arabic is prevalent in my town and as soon as I get a hold on this national language I think I will attempt a little basic Arabic so that I can at the very least communicate a hello and goodbye.  So many languages rolling around my head is completely exhausting! Do you have any idea how much glucose the brain uses up when learning a new language?! Mine may be slightly overdrawn, but I haven't talked to anyone in English in a while (well, a week or so...but it seems like an hour and forever at the same time) and so the best I can do is guess.  I blank on English words, destroy my long-learned grammar, and replace English words with Khmer words without noticing until it's too late.  Whenever I realize this, I fear that this expensive brain I have sitting on my neck is turning to mush.  
  The biggest difference between my American life and my Cambodian life is the movement.  Both cultures keep on keeping on, but while American life moves at more of a jackrabbit pace, Cambodian life moves akin to that of the tortoise.  Regardless, it has moved long before I arrived and will continue moving long after I leave.  I only hope to build a person or two while I'm here and have faith that they will keep building people..and in good health! 

I hope you can forgive me my lost English
xo-Amanda