By far one of my favorite parts of
living in my village is actually leaving the comfort of my house and meeting
other inhabitants of the best village in Cambodia. The contrast between the pace of life here
and the pace of life in America, not to mention ways that people occupy their
time, is incredible - a great study of
life for any scientist to sink their syringe into and sometimes the scientist
in me takes over and I can’t help but analyze changes that occur, reasons this
might be so, and speculations about why, how, and when? Why are our two cultures so different? Do
Khmer have ambition like Americans? How do they occupy their time? Do they want
something different? Do they know something different is out there? Though there are many Americans, I am sure, who don’t have an inkling that life can be
so drastically different from the one they partake in.
Anyway, I like exploring my
village. Wandering around my village, I
find, is both intriguing to me and also disturbing. I don’t mean disturbing in a negative
connotation, like I see things that I don’t like. What I mean is that I, as a foreigner and an
American no less, attract far more attention than is necessary. My very presence disturbs the quiet of their
daily life. I like observing Khmer life,
listening to conversations and participating in games, but generally when I show up somewhere all
of the attention is refocused to me.
It’s like I have an "attention magnet" attached to my person and
proverbial lights follow me around my village highlighting my location and
letting all Khmer know where I am at and when I will be approaching to answer
their questions, yell “HELLO” at, and just be available for them to stare
at. It’s unsettling for me sometimes to
leave my house and health center where I am comfortable with my host family and
health staff who know me and speak to me on a daily basis to have contact with
people who ask me why I don’t have kids yet, and reach out their hands to touch
my white skin and freckles.
On one instance, when I was at one
of my midwives, SoPheak, homes eating lunch with her family, she took me out to dao lang
(on a walk) through the roads near her house.
Occasionally we stopped and talked to people she knew, occasionally we
stopped and talked to people she didn’t know.
After about an hour of this we came to a house where we sat and talked
to a mother making Khmer sweets called noams or more specifically, om nom chrook. These noams were treats made of sticky rice, beans, and pork fat wrapped in banana leaves and cooked (maybe steamed). The family was super friendly and willing to just hang out with us and chat. Kids nearby played soccer in their bare feet with a popped ball, and other adults sat around on chairs or hammocks passing the time dozing or talking. They asked me the regular questions: where I was from and how old I was, did I have a husband and did I want one? I was told that I had a beautiful Khmer face and that the eventual kids I would have would likely be beautiful and white as well. The questions continued: What was I doing here and on and on. I answered their questions with the usual responses. It was a wonderful relaxing hang out.
She was impressed! (no, really) and told me that I was a quick learner and very intelligent. I was a little surprised, mostly because usually when Khmer people say something to me upon meeting me, it is about me being beautiful, having white skin, or a Khmer face. That kind of compliment involving abstract characteristics I would expect more from a European or American, but I was incredibly flattered all the same...maybe more so because was the first time (and the last time apparently) a Khmer person has commented on something other than my looks or apparent lack of husband and family. I have found that, generally speaking, in Khmer culture it is very acceptable to speak openly about someone's looks: the color of their skin, hair, or eyes. They comment often about how skinny people are or how fat they have become and I am asked a few times a week how many kilograms I weight and how many centimeters tall I am. I find a lot when I am with Khmer people that they tend to pick out specific features of my face and comment on them. For example, I have a Khmer nose, Khmer eyes, beautiful eyes, beautiful teeth, light hair (lighter than dark Khmer hair anyway), white skin, etc.
But rarely do I hear Khmer people talk about more abstract qualities, like intelligence or imagination (although in my host family Soktchea boasts to me that he is #1 in his English and typing class and I tell him that he is so smart!). It was a huge ego boost to hear that about myself and though I'm not even sure I could find my way back, I want to find that Maak sometime before I leave and tell her that she is on the right track and that her comment changed my outlook that day.
But rarely do I hear Khmer people talk about more abstract qualities, like intelligence or imagination (although in my host family Soktchea boasts to me that he is #1 in his English and typing class and I tell him that he is so smart!). It was a huge ego boost to hear that about myself and though I'm not even sure I could find my way back, I want to find that Maak sometime before I leave and tell her that she is on the right track and that her comment changed my outlook that day.
Time to spread the compliments.
xo-Amanda
