Bong-Srai Visits Cambodia

In mid-May, one of my Cambodian dreams came true: my sister Diana came to visit!

We met up in Bangkok and spent a few days in Thailand exploring the northern neighbor of Cambodia.  This included an elephant hike (above, Diana looking eager) and white water rafting (below, it was really white water drifting - low season and all that), and a night in a "traditional Thai village" that rather resembled my own site where I've been living for the past year...

We took advantage of all of the tourist stops, and saw Buddha upon Buddha upon Buddha upon Buddha upon Buddha upon Buddha upon Buddha upon Buddha upon Buddha (they really like their golden Buddhas up in Thailand).

Diana looking awesome (so, normal) in the Grand Palace in Bangkok

Upon reentering Cambodia, we stopped first in Siem Reap for her to see the temples of Angkor Wat.  One of Diana's good friends who is currently living in Hong Kong, Jill, met us for some unforgettable days at the ruins.  As you can see below, we had some grand fun in our matching tanks while we showed other tourists the meaning of "style."  (Jill isn't even posing, that's just the way she stands - like a superstar.)

And of course there were the peddlers and sellers, who accosted us at the beginning and end of each temple trying to sell their wares.  Diana preferred to talk to the children selling stuff and make friends.  They were rarely swayed from their objective of making money off of tourists.  

A great reason to travel with Diana is that she loves taking pictures - she carried 3 cameras around with her during her trip. THREE. Unnecessary? She didn't think so. But the plus side of that was that she took pictures I wouldn't think of seeing: a man balancing pipes on a moto, girls in their uniforms riding their bikes home from school - those things are all second nature to me now, part of the scenery and part of my life here.  They aren't things I would think are photograph-worthy but seeing them afterwards I thought to myself, "this is something I want to remember" and was glad she took photos of things I had considered rather mundane.  

However the polls show that the best part of the trip was when I got to take Diana back to my site to meet my host family.  She hit it off right away with Sokchea and Man Kheang, especially when she revealed her gifts to them of Spiderman/Angry Birds themed clothing and games.  

In case you're wondering, my little brothers still draw her pictures and my host mom asks me to tell her hello and that she misses her and was happy when she was here.  Not joking about that.  She really hit it off with the host family!

Alas, Diana learned the hard way, as I have, that when gifting the boys with a puzzle, it probably means you will end up doing it yourself.  

My favorite part of the visit by far were the goodies she brought me: making myself sick on Reeses’ pieces, finally having a watch after not knowing the time for a month, and new running shoes that Sokchea would later thank me for having because the old ones smelled so bad.  Just kidding. Obviously it was having Diana around for two whole weeks! Plus, having Diana around is great for my ego: she kept complimenting me on my Khmer ("that's because you don't know how it's supposed to sound," I told her), and all the Khmer people we met told me we had moak doyk (similar faces)...before following it up with, "but she is skinny and you are fat"...so it goes.  

But seriously - for me, one of the hardest parts about living in my village is that due to the lack of English (...Americans and understanding of American culture), being able to express myself is difficult, if not impossible.  I am limited by foreign words, facial expressions and hand gestures that I am wary of making in case of offending someone by chance.  To be able to be with not only another American, but my sister who knows me so well and thinks in a like manner, was the real holiday for me.  Some PCV jokes were a little more on the difficult side for her to understand in the beginning: "I'm perpetually hungry" - but then when we got to site and she had a rice meal with my family, she understood that rice doesn't really fill you up and that sleeping in a village takes a little bit of practice. In addition, we found it amusing that though we apparently have the same face (I can't see it...but I'm not going to argue with a statement like that), I am the only one who looks Khmer... and Thai! When we were in Thailand I got the good old "you have a Thai face" a few times from the locals just like I get "you have a Khmer face" here in Cambodia.  But Diana didn't.  

It was interesting for me too, to be able to see the ways that I myself had assimilated and didn't notice many parts of Khmer culture that she did.  For example, at one point we were in a taxi with our bags strapped to the roof (quite normal here) and when we slowed down some moto drivers ran alongside the taxi, reaching for our things.  "Amanda, they're stealing our stuff!" Diana said to me frantically.  But I knew they wouldn't take our things, they just thought we might get off and hire them to take us somewhere so they were getting our bags for us.  On a bus, I got off at a stop to get a snack and Diana stayed put, watching the stands and people milling about outside.  I smiled at that one; it took a while for me to feel comfortable to get off at a stop too - the first few times I took the but I never got off at a stop.  

People in my village asked me the the same questions about her as they had (and still do) ask about me: how old is she? What does she do? Is she married? Why not? Does she have a boyfriend? What is her salary? What is her boyfriend like? Why is she so white and you are not? Is she going to get married? Is she going to have kids? Is she moving to Cambodia? Does she like it here? Does she miss America? I answered the questions the best that I could and reminisced about my own answers.  It was also really fun to introduce her to my sister so that they could see that me being an odd American wasn't an anomaly - it runs in my family. :)  I was sad when she went back, but no big deal, Diana is a regular correspondent and suffers my torrent of attention when I have access to internet and whatnot.  

Diana is going to post a "celebrity blog" next, about her experience here and I am curious enough to read it myself.  I wonder if the things she thought of are the same things I thought in my first few days here, and I wonder if she dreamed of the States like I do.  

Waiting for the Superparents to arrive next!

xo-Amanda

"Things"

  Living away from a first world country for a little while allows me, at the very least, to understand some things I took for granted being raised in fact-paced American society with the world at my fingertips. 

Things I Will Never Do in the US Again

1. Complain about doing laundry – wish a washing machine.  What was I thinking? You put clothes in with some detergent and push a button, perhaps two.  Then maybe an hour later put them into a dryer and push yet another button (O the energy required).  Here I do laundry by hand in a big tin bucket while Cambodian squatting and then hang my clothes to dry on the line – which takes a few days because it’s the rainy season and dampness pervades the air. Needless to say the smell test rules my laundry chore.
2. Say, “I don’t care” when someone asks me what I want to eat. I do care – anything but rice.
3. Take a short/cold shower.  Bucket showers will cure you of any unnatural urge to do this.  Take a long hot shower and don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. 
4. Throw just anything in the garbage.  For Pete’s sake, recycle. There is no waste management system in Cambodia and people just burn piles and piles of trash in front of their houses.  Yes, I worry about my respiratory health as well as the stratosphere.
5. Underestimate the importance of toilet paper.  And everything that implies.

BUT having lived here for longer than “a few months,” there are some things that I really appreciate about my home away from home:

Things I Really Like About Cambodia

1. Using facial expressions and a year-long game of charades to understand and be understood in this country.  It can get old but is ridiculously fun and who can’t use more entertainment in their lives?
2. The lack of information – I don’t mean ignorance, I mean that in America there is an information overload that contributes quite nicely to procrastination and it’s kind of cool to be unconnected for a little while.  I would not recommend it for two years straight…but still.
3. Life is an open invitation.  Literally.  Everyone in my village knows each other and each other’s life stories, and while that can seem invasive to someone raised in American culture where privacy is a key part of our lives, I have found that Khmer people are genuinely interested in everyone around them.  They are super friendly and when they ask me about my family, or why I don’t have a husband yet, it is in no way a malicious implication, they really are interested in my reasons.  People come and go at my house, wander up and off, into and out of conversations, and it’s all very normal here.  There is an open invitation to sit and chat and (usually) partake in whatever is being nommed on at the moment during most parts of the day.  If you were to take a slice out of my life in the village here, you could use it to define the word “community.”  Really.  It’s nice to be involved, even when you’re not.
4. My health center staff.  They are super.  Not only did they open their arms to me when I walked to work the first day, they help me with my Khmer and are always willing to not only teach me new things but learn new things that I am able to teach them. 
5. My host family.  They are hands down the best part about living here in my village so far away from everything I know and love in the States. 

And for good measure:

Things I Think About and Have a Neutral Opinion Of or Otherwise Cannot Locate Anything to Make A Passionate Plea About.

Or,

Pointless Things To Complain About

1. Mismatching chopsticks.  Are chopsticks not hard enough? Come on, chopstick-makers of the world, can we all just agree on a generic chopstick length so that there is a balance?
2. Those little kids who know only one English word (HELLO) and feel the need to scream it in my direction at every opportunity they can.  Every day I go running along the same road. Every day I pass the same children playing outside of their houses. Every day they drop what they are doing and yell at the top of their lungs “HELLOHELLOHELLOHELLOHELLO!!!!” to me both on the way down the road and on the way back.  I have been here running almost every day for 10 months. What are they trying to accomplish?  I’ve turned it into a game though, only the ones who really put effort into it get a response.
3. Khmer People who think I look Khmer.  For anyone who has not met me or looked at the photos I post, I am not Khmer.  Khmer people, for the most part, think I look Khmer – and they get confused when I open my mouth and butcher their language.  I am not offended by this because I think Khmer people are unattractive (I don’t), I am offended because I am under the self-induced illusion that everything about me screams, “AMERICAN” and those who find themselves around me should be overwhelmed by my Americanness.
• This goes along with 3b - . Europeans who think I look Khmer.  This astonishes me, mostly because I am not Khmer.  True story: one day at my health center, an Italian doctor came to visit with some NGO based in Sihanoukville and in the process of saying hello to the rest of the staff, said hello to me and proceeded to speak to me through a translator.  Let me be clear – she spoke English to the translator (who could tell I am a foreigner), who spoke to me in Khmer.  What did I do? Obviously I played along. Wouldn’t you?
4. KhmEnglish.  I generally understand English, and for the most part I can understand Khmer.  What is the most difficult thing in the world is when people decide to interchange the two and mix the languages in an attempt to show off their knowledge…or maybe just because their brain is used to using both languages and it’s easier to express using both.  I’ll admit, I do it from time to time and when I realize I am doing it I try to just stick to one or the other.  There are some people who maybe they think it sounds cool (?) when really it’s just confusing.  Are you speaking English? Did I forget my language? Are you speaking Khmer? Why haven’t I heard those words before? Usually I am just like, “Listen buddy, pick a language, any language, and stick with it. Thanks.”
5. The endless bowls of rice. No, they are not filling. Yes, I will have just one more bowl.  Maybe this time it will taste different. 

xo-Amanda

Happy Anniversary

   A year has passed since I left the Land of Plenty and Plenty More and entered the maze that is Cambodia.  Though I can hardly claim to be an expert on any subject involving Peace Corps, the country of Cambodia, or the Khmer, I have (with my undiluted and extremely acute powers of observation) unearthed a few new pieces of information over the past year.  Some of these discoveries sober me, other observations I still find completely mysterious.  Daily occurrences remind me that though I live here, Cambodia is not my home, though I speak this language, I do not fully understand it, and (most importantly) though I eat Khmer food, it never really fills me up. 

I do, however, have some skills that have significantly improved over the last year that I am quite proud of.  The top eight skills I have included below (this was a fun list to make).

  

8. I am really good at charades now.

7. I can ride a bike relatively long distances in an ankle-length traditional Khmer skirt.

6. I can successfully use a squatty potty without getting completely undressed and while wearing a  backpack…and not soil any of it.

5. I can haggle the market ladies down to about half the price they originally quote me.

4. I can go many days without electricity or internet.

3. I can shower(ish) with a seriously restricted amount of water (about a bucketful) and still get clean.

2. I can hand wash a weeks’ worth of clothes in under an hour 

1. I can cook rice. (Not sure if a happy face or a sad face should follow this comment)

And throughout this year I have discovered some things about myself.  The best ones (or, the ones that I can be posted online) follow:

1. Watching American television shows is more difficult here than it is in America.  This is because I get distracted largely by the food (any PCV will readily admit that they have dreams about food in America…have you read my rice post?).  For example: in almost every single episode of everything, there is a bowl of fruit in the background of a scene.  Why is there a bowl of fruit? No one has a bowl of fruit just sitting at their houses - that’s silly because if you leave fruit out it will rot and draw bugs and even in my large family if someone did want to eat fruit, they certainly wouldn’t eat an entire bowl of it at once and not all of it would get eaten which leads to the rotting food and what a waste that is!  People go into the cupboards for the good food in boxes with labels like “Hostess” or “Cheez-it”, anything that says “full of sugar” if you read between the lines.  But anyway, I am sitting in my village having not even seen real blueberries for the last year when all of the sudden in the episode of Nashville on my computer there is a bowl of blueberries in the background and I get distracted by the food.  I start thinking about the blueberries and how good they would be in pie or pop tarts, or just washed and in a bowl like they are depicted and suddenly the scene was 27 minutes ago and in the meantime the main character has a secret brother who is also a CIA agent cheating on his wife but the wife is running for President and pregnant to top it off and the whole plot line has gotten away from me because of a bowl of blueberries!  Forget about scenes that take place in bakeries.  No, I don’t have ADD.  Really, I don’t.  It’s the food!

2. Feeling clean is half the battle to getting clean. And “clean” is a subjective term.

3. I am the happiest person I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know.  I like to think that it radiates off of me like sunlight and everyone around me is trying to get a tan from my happiness.  Or at least that's what I'm aiming for. 

4. I will be getting very fat upon my return to America. See #1.

   And though I swore when got off the plane a year ago that by today I would be an expert in Khmer culture and language, I have to admit that I am still nearly (okay, completely) in the dark about most things.  I had hoped to at least be under the illusion of having secret knowledge that can only be gained by living in my village, but alas, I am still a foreigner who communicates mostly through body language.  I still have an atrocious American English accent when speaking Khmer and I still leave most of the rice in my bowl during dinner. 

Can you believe it’s been a year? I can’t.

xo-Amanda

On the next episode of “blog post by Amanda” come more lists- “Best” and “Worst”.